Friendly, But Not Friends

At a meeting of our Masterminds Breakfast Club for business consultants, we were talking about how to develop repeat business with clients, something of interest to all businesses, not just blood-sucking parasites (er, I mean, consultants). In addition to the somewhat obvious need to provide true value and keep in regular contact, the notion of relationship came up. And, the idea of being "likeable" or "well-liked" arose. A lively debate ensued.

Is it important for your customers to like you? Personally? Should you strive to be buddies with your customers? Should you hang out, go to the bar, go for dinner, and go to hockey games? How important is the personal relationship, the friendship, to the business relationship?

Everyone agreed that if customers don't like you, they will be less likely to want you around. But there were a lot of opinions on how close you should get. At some point, you will need to collect money from them. Or charge them for something they'd like for free. Or tell them something they don't want to hear. Or fire them as a customer. Or be told that your services are no longer required.

And, the question again came up: Do you need to be liked? Or, instead of being liked, is it more imporant to be respected? And, though we certainly don't want to be dis-liked, perhaps we don't really want to be friends?

Scott, from Abonar Business Consultants suggested that maybe "You want to be friendly, but not friends". In other words, behave courteously. Be polite. Be positive, supportive, and friendly. But maintain enough separation so that you can effectively manage the business relationship.

It's the same in an employer/employee relationship; be friendly towards employees, but maintain enough separation so that you can do what needs to be done to effectively manage the company. If you are always socializin' with the staff because you want to be liked and be their friend, how do you let one of your friends go when their performance just isn't adequate?

The lively debate continued, and no one imagined that there is one right answer that applies to every situation and every personality. But, if what you're doing hasn't been too effective, think about what you might change so that you can be friendly, without being friends.