Language Matters. Language Doesn't Matter.

Language Matters...

When you hear your boss refer to you as headcount, doesn't that just make you feel all warm and valued inside? Isn't it nice to be called a resource, an in-scope FTE (full-time equivalent), a pawn, or a warm body? Do you feel trust and loyalty when your manager jokes that you should "clean out your desk" when you've made a small mistake? Do you feel respected and valued when your concerns are dismissed as "high school drama?"

The specific words you choose are important, and different people are triggered by words you might find acceptable. You can dimiss the importance of language, and wish for people to stop being so sensitive, or you can work to habiturally choose language that is more respectful and effective.

Language Doesn't Matter...

One of the most dysfunctional people I've ever had the pleasure to work with constantly used words like teamwork, respect, listening and collaboration. He prided himself on his leadership skills and believed himself to be an excellent facilitator and communicator. Unfortunately, he was also rigidly hierarchical in his thinking, treated colleagues and subordinates with contempt, sucked up to everyone above him, and was abrasive and abusive in every meeting and encounter. Despite his use of all the feel-good language, he pushed people away like the stink on a skunk-sprayed dog (don't ask!).

The specific words you choose don't matter a bit if your actions aren't consistent with them. You can say that you value teamwork, but everybody learns the truth when you try to bully your agenda through without listening to anyone else's point of view.

Language matters - you're talking to real people and real people want to be respected.

Language doesn't matter - your actions truly do speak louder than the words you use.

See also, You Don't Act the Way You Say you Act.