The Struggle to Let Go

Whenever you delegate a task, hire an assistant, create a key new role, or transition your job or your company to a successor, there is always a struggle to let go. Here are five things that make it difficult, and some possible ways to address them.

1. They don't know how to do the job as well as you. This is a certainty, especially at the beginning. There is always a learning curve when someone new is brought in to do a task, but often the problem is not with the new person, but with what you've given them to work with. Do you have documented Standard Operating Procedures (SOP's)? Have you really captured the approach that you found successful in a way that the new person can use? Have you trained them? Have you mentored them? Have you let them try it on their own? Often, we get someone to do a job, and then hold them accountable to the standards in our heads, standards that they don't even know exist.
2. They do the job differently than you would. This is also a certainty, since they are not you. Unless the job is absolutely trivial, no two people will approach it exactly the same way. While standardization is important, and SOP's can help the transition, realize that different is not necessarily worse. It can be a significant threat to your ego if a newbie comes in, tries something different and it actually works better than what you've been doing and preaching for years.
3. You don't really want to let go. Especially in the case of retirement, or succession planning, it is very hard to give up control, and the associated feelings of importance, of influence, of being needed. Moving towards the next thing you are going to do can help take your mind off of the things that you are no longer doing, that somebody else is now doing. Changing your title to something supportive, rather than controlling, can indicate your willingness to relinquish the reins, and help you accept the change as well. Sometimes this takes some coaching or counselling, either professional or from a trusted colleague, to help you work through the emotions - much like dealing with grief.
4. They don't seem confident. They keep having crises that drag you back into they fray. They ask for your help, they ask for your advice, they just seem so young and inexperienced and, in comparison to you, they are. But they're also competent, and learning. Perhaps you need to pull back more, to force them to stand on their own. Or, perhaps you need to shift your thinking, and realize that asking a mentor for advice is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength.
5. You don't want to follow. New people bring new methods, new inspiration, new systems, new requirements. If you've been handling a role your way for years, and it has worked well for you, it seems absurd to have to change just to match what the incoming whipper-snappers want to do. Sure, they might set up some fancy new software, or new scheduling methods, but it doesn't apply to you, does it? So, they end up making all kinds of workarounds to accomodate you - out of respect, out of necessity. It's times like these when you need to dig deep, accept your changing role graciously, and honor the systems and changes that your successor is trying to implement - out of respect, out of necessity.

Letting go isn't trivial, and often pushes a lot of your emotional buttons. But letting go is the key to allowing the organization to grow beyond just you. And the key to letting the new people shine.